I received a comment today one of my Living in Courage readers Mary, asking for an update on Randy Pausch’s wife Jai and the children. It has been almost a year (July 25th 2008) since his passing. During Randy’s illness with pancreatic cancer, I had frequent updates (archived in Courage and Archived Video’s) here at Living in Courage Online. For the entire journey go to Randy Pausch Updates which ended the day of his passing. We continue to send love to the Pausch family. Our hearts go out to them at this time. You will find a photo and article below from People Magazine online.
May 25, 2009 Vol. 71 No. 20 Jai Pausch Life After Randy By KRISTEN MASCIA
Almost a Year After Randy Pausch’s Death, His Widow Opens Up About Her Loss—and How She’s Rebuilding Her Life with Their Three Children
At Disney World last February, Dylan Pausch, 7, smiled triumphantly as he wrapped his arms around a giant stuffed animal, his reward for scoring in an arcade game. His passion for winning cuddly creatures brought tears to his mom Jai’s eyes. “That was something,” she says, “Randy loved to do.” Randy, of course, is Randy Pausch, the contagiously optimistic professor who died of pancreatic cancer at 47 but who left the world a moving legacy in the “last lecture” he delivered at Carnegie Mellon University in September 2007—seen by nearly 10 million people on YouTube—and his bestselling book. Now, 10 months after his death, Jai, 43, is making her way, even as she copes with still-raw grief. “The knot in my chest has subsided,” she tells PEOPLE in a rare interview, speaking partly in response, she says, to the many letters she gets from strangers asking her how she’s doing. “The pain is there, but life is going on for us.”
Not without a struggle: Still fresh in her memory is the excruciating moment on July 25, 2008, when she broke the devastating news to the children—Dylan, then 6, Logan, 3, and Chloe, just a baby. “I said, ‘Daddy didn’t want to die; he loved you very much,’” Jai recalls. “It was awful.” Their reactions were heart-wrenching. “Dylan said, ‘Well, I’m the next to die in the family,’” Jai recalls. “I had to reassure him, ‘You’re not gonna die.’”
At first she made a daily habit of watching Randy’s lecture about his childhood dreams and what he’d learned about life. “I needed to see him, watch him move, hear his voice,” says Jai, who was earning her master’s in comparative literature when she met Randy, a guest lecturer, at the University of North Carolina in 1998. “But it was like tearing the scab off every time. I had to stop doing it.” These days she channels her energy into fixing up their Virginia home, where they moved shortly before Randy’s death to be closer to her family. “I’ve ripped out the vanity, wallpapered—I need something to squirt me in the face,” she says with a chuckle. “When I’m depressed, I’ve found plumbing really works for me.”
Her greatest joy is watching her children march forward, as children do. “They’ve been so resilient,” says Jai of Dylan, a budding scientist; Logan, now 4, a Batman enthusiast; and the proudly toilet-trained Chloe, 3. Recently, with Jai’s help, they planted a garden. “Jai’s doing what Randy knew she’d do: raise them right,” says Randy’s coauthor, Jeff Zaslow. “She’s one of the strongest women I know.”
And one of the busiest. Despite her hectic schedule, she has recently taken up tennis—”I have to be engaged, so I can’t think about making dinner or the anniversary of Randy’s death”—and has started making new friends. Some years from now, when the kids are ready, she’ll show them the lecture. “It’s Randy in a bottle,” she says. “They’ll get to see their father at his finest. That’s a wonderful gift.”
I think of what we could have had and wish it would have been —JAI PAUSCH
Randy Pausch was 47 years young. His courageous passing will be felt by people across the world. What an amazing man, what an amazing family. Randy was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2006, being told he had 3 to 6 months to live. He made every day count.
Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture at Carnegie Mellon University is legendary – worldwide. The video of The Last Lecture has been viewed by over 10 million people, and translated into 7 languages. This year after appearing on Oprah, Diane Sawyer, and many other interviews, a best selling book “The Last Lecture”, testifying before Congress in regards to Pancreatic Cancer, Randy has passed leaving us all feeling so blessed to have witnessed such Courage and Love.
In the news from The University of Virginia was a quote by Gabe Robins, professor of computer science at U.Va., has described Pausch as the perfect mentor – a combination of Yoda, Captain James T.Kirk, and Jim Carrey.
Randy was such an inspiration to me as a young faculty member and he became a good friend over the years,” said Robins. “The media portrayed this man exactly as he was — bright, honest and sincere. I feel lucky to count him among my friends and mentors. It is very rare to find a person that combines greatness, grace, and courage the way Randy does. I’m so glad that, through his lecture videos and recent book, the rest of the world got to know him too. Randy’s legacy will continue to inspire people for a long, long time to come.
Living in Courage sends love and condolences to Randy’s family – Jai, Dylan, Logan and Chloe.
I would like to thank everyone who left comments over the months here at Living in Courage for Randy and his family and those who continue to do so. We all hold a very special place in our hearts for a very courageous man and his wonderful family.
Here is the weekly update on Randy Pausch. We send you and your family love Randy. So many people visit this site and leave comments for Randy and his family. I would like to thank all the people who leave comments and stories about their lives and challenges. Randy Pausch gives courage and hope to people all over the world as he puts a different face on life’s hardships, encouraging everyone to live life to the fullest. Our heart are with you Randy.
June 26th, 2008: Slow, but continued recovery
I continue to slowly recover. Chemotherapy has a cumulative effect, so it takes longer to recover the deeper one gets into this. Our current thinking is that more chemotherapy may not be wise; at this point, almost all potential chemotherapies may potentially make me so weak/sick that even if they were to slow the tumor, it would not be clear it would be the right tradeoff. We are currently narrowing down some immunuotherapy-based apporaches that would presumably come with little or no side effects. More news as that proceeds.
For more videos and past updates on Randy Pausch, go to the Heroes or Courage section of this website.
June 10th, 2008: A Letter from President Bush
While I don’t have any way of validating it authenticity, nor do I have an particular reson to do doubt it – this arrived recently (click on letter for larger, readable image.)
I’m sorry I haven’t posted much recently; there just hasn’t been too much notable going on. Mostly, I’m resting and rebuilding strength. Today has been my best day in a while; I took at 2 hour nap in the afternoon, but other that that have been up and active all day.
Today’s box score:
Creatanine (kidney function): 2.8
CA19-9 (tumor marker): 634
Blood Pressure: 135 / 85
May 10th, 2008: Vroom!
For Mother’s Day, we managed to arrange to have Jai get away for a night in a local hotel, where she was able to sleep in until 9am; a truly rare treat for a mother of three little kids!
We also took a spin in a “kit car” of a 1965 Shelby Cobra.
I want to keep you informed about Randy Pausch. Randy Pausch is Courage in action, as is his amazing family. Thank you Randy for teaching us so much about life, love, family and facing life’s greatest challenges. You are a true hero.
May 2nd, 2008: Cancer spreads
Yesterday’s PET scan showed that I have very tiny (5mm or less) metastases in my lungs and some lymph nodes in my chest. I also have some metastases in my peritoneum and retroperitoneum cavities (basically, inside my abdomen).
This is unfortunate, but we knew it would happen sooner or later, and we’ve been able to stave it off much longer than anticipated, so I’m very grateful for that.
My current strategy is to continue to recover from the heart and kidney failure, and once I’m strong enough, then we’ll either do the SIR-Spheres or some systemic chemo, depending on the relative growth of the liver and non-liver tumors.
Randy Pausch went to Congress to use his new found unintended celebrity that he received through the lecture at Carnegie Mellon University to speak on behalf of Pancreatic cancer. Randy urged Congress to provide funding for research to eradicate this most lethal cancer.
Dr. Randy Pausch was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University. Last September (2007) he gave his last lecture. This is a tradition among College Professors – giving your last lecture as though you were dying.The rub is, Dr Randy Pausch, is in all likelihood dying. He is battling pancreatic cancer. Diagnosed with the cancer on August 15, 2007 and given 3-6 months to live, today he is still going. Here is what he wrote on his own blog on February 15, 2008:
Feb 15: Six months later …. and still alive & healthy Today is a pretty important day. It was August 15th, 2007, when I was told I likely had “three to six months of good health left.”Today is six months from that day. Just to prove I’m still alive, here I am, holding today’s New York Times! I rode my bike today; the cumulative effects of the chemotherapy are hurting my stamina some, but I bet I can still run a quarter mile faster than most Americans.The doctors weren’t wrong; they always said that if the palliative chemo worked, I’d buy more time, but that it was a long shot. And the doctors have done a brilliant job of tweaking my regimen to help my odds. How much longer this will work is hard to know, but I’m going to keep having fun every day I have left, no matter how many or how few of them I get.
This is Randy on Oprah giving an abridged version of his “last lecture”. This is what we mean when we say courage.Read Randy’s blog here
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