Be an exception to the rule. When we think and act for ‘ourselves’ with the attitude that as an individual our needs and wants may be different from the next person, life gets more joy-full. Copying other people to fit in or trying to be like them can steal your powerful life force. Losing yourself, your identity, your power to anything outside you is not to be taken lightly. You are enough, I am enough, we all are! Keep Oneness in mind, yet hold true to your integrity, ideals and dreams. We all learn from trying to fit in, emulating someone we look up to, wanting people to like us, or to think we are cool. Be true to yourself and work on living from the inside out vs the outside in. There are many bridges to cross to heal the aspects of ourselves we came here to experience and explore. Each day we get to start over in any way we choose. By being true to yourself and living an authentic life you really come into your personal power.

Be an exception because you are amazing…just the way you are!

Debra Oakland

“Nature provides exceptions to every rule.” -Margaret Fuller

Photo by stefano principato

By Steve Tallamy

For many years discipline was a word I avoided, it invoked an underlying sense of trepidation in me, probably stemming from my formative years when the only meaning it had was pain and punishment. Disciple meant being forced to comply against who I was and wanted to be, it meant unhappiness, loneliness, hatred against the enforcers and worst of all a lack of my own self belief as I was continually told that I was wrong, didn’t know what I was talking about, etc.. I detested the word and it was only later in life through my deepening connection with nature, that I learned to embrace it … but on my terms!

Self-discipline is a means of survival; learning to know yourself needs discipline, keeping to your goals needs discipline, being forgiving, compassionate, honest and loving all need discipline, so embracing it is a vital component of being who you want to be. There often seems to be no discipline at all when you look at nature, but beneath the seemingly chaotic surface there is synchronistic order. Insects, birds and animals rely on plants flowering, fruiting and seeding at the right time to survive. The plants themselves rely on the seasons to bring them the right conditions to be able to play their part in the chain of life and without discipline in nature that chain is broken. When discipline fails so does nature and the world changes.

It seems to me that we are in a period of ‘non-discipline’ right now, there are so many changes happening all around us, a link in the chain has broken and Mother Nature is frantically trying to hold it and us all together. Fortunately more and more of us are coming to realize that She needs a helping hand and a new discipline is evolving. A new world is being born; conservation, sustainable lifestyles, transition movement and green businesses are becoming the ‘norm’ rather than being simply things for the do-gooders and cranks to be doing. Like in my past these ways of life were considered undisciplined, not worthy of being listened too except by the few, those few are now many with more connecting with them every day thank goodness and Mother Nature is now being supported in her struggle for survival.

So discipline has a whole new meaning in my dictionary these days, it’s not painful nor punishing it’s: creating forgiveness, compassion, honesty, love and the bright new world you and I so dearly want to be a part of, to nurture and share it with each other and for the generations still to come. That takes Discipline.

Steve Tallamy

http://stevetallamy.com/ Magical articles about Mother Nature and her Kingdoms

“Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There is plenty of movement, but you never know if it’s going to be forward, backwards, or sideways.” -H.Jackson Brown, Jr.

Discipline is a very broad subject that partners well with responsibility. Self Discipline takes mental, physical and spiritual practice. I find that discipline is much easier when I enjoy the activity I am delving into. Our passion plays into this as well. What are you passionate about? We all have different areas of life that interest us. Aligning to where our soul leads us always assists in making the learning processes in life easier.

For many writers one of the hardest things to do is look at a blank page, put hands on the keyboard and write about an unfamiliar subject. Overcoming inertia can be a challenge to say the least! When the motivation is not there, that is when discipline fires up to support you. When you know you should not have that ice cream or some decadent dessert, discipline can save you from yourself. When you get angry, discipline can help you to respond versus react. When you know you need to be physically active or move your body in some form on exercise, discipline will motivate you to get started. As we all know, there are days when we do not want to listen to the “drill sergeant” we gave orders to, but in our infinite wisdom we set ourselves up for success.

 How do we self-discipline in a way that serves us?

- Set a goal. Be accountable/responsible and persistent.

- Identify your strengths, be in control and take action.

- If you need one, find an accountability partner and check in with them regularly. As we have all heard, accountability can be an excellent motivator.

- Allow yourself to make mistakes, no one is perfect. Pick yourself up and move on knowing that this is part of the learning process. Be gentle, but firm. Don’t give up!

- Recognize the things you do to stop yourself from reaching your goal. Look at the roadblocks and ask yourself why you put them there. Decide what you are going to do about removing them.

- Reward yourself in a way that leaves a positive feeling. That way you will look forward to celebrating a job well done.

- Don’t stop at one success, expand and move on to a new challenge that requires discipline. Life is not something that happens to you, but you are something that happens to life. We all have an innate desire to set new goals, overcome challenges, to grow and to be happy.

- Enjoy the fact that you have been able to acquire self-discipline through application. Be grateful for your accomplishments and enjoy them all!

Debra Oakland

“Transformation is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. Out of this gift comes transformation for all.”  -Debra Oakland

Life is an ongoing activity of transformation. That means we are growing, and hopefully expanding into a bigger and better version of what goes on in us, and in our lives. Being open to change is difficult for many people because stretching outside the “comfort zone” that has it’s seemingly safe barriers can be scary. Well, I am here to shout it out “Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone.”  I am taking my own advice, or I would not suggest it for you. I have never been more uncomfortable than in the last few years, but I have grown in many ways and you can too. I have ended one career and began another. I have gone from searching for my passion to embracing it. I am learning to leave limitation behind and transform my life into all inclusive abundance. I have let go of the clutter and baggage in my life and am embracing a clutter free environment.  These are just a few of the things I have done and am working on.

We can apply this transformation not only to our outer lives, but our inner lives as well. How about cleaning up negativity? How about gossip, now that’s a big one! Criticism and judgement only come back to the one pointing the finger.  Re-program yourself to STOP right when a negative thought or feeling comes up, especially before you act on it. Take that thought before it becomes a feeling (the feeling gives the thought power) and redesign it to be a positive. Then feel it! I can tell you it works, and the more you practice the better life gets. As you build momentum, it pushes the negative clutter out, leaving more room for the positive to take hold.  It is retraining your brain and body to work in synergy with your soul, which has your best interest in mind. Transformation is a minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day activity that pays the best dividends you will ever acquire.

Transforming  your inner and outer life is a magical experience that is courageous and ongoing throughout your life, so why not jump in and enjoy the process, because time will go on  regardless. 2012 is a trans-formative year for us and as we embrace life at this time, the increases we make will not only serve us, but will leave the world a better place for all.

Debra Oakland

By Steve Tallamy

What a wonderful time to be writing about transformation, with the world of nature undergoing a massive season of change.  Here in the Northern Hemisphere Spring has blossomed whilst for those in the Southern Hemisphere Autumn is heading their way.  Mother Nature is forever in a period of transformation and so are we, it is the natural progression we must all go through to grow and expand.  We often simply live in the season that we are in at any particular moment without connecting to the bigger picture of what is happening all around us ~ Transformation!

So many people go through their lives as if on a treadmill, constantly taking the same old steps day after day without any change, not realizing that they have the power within themselves to alter the speed or to momentarily stop their world from running away with them.  Transformation takes time and we all need to make that time available, it is a lifetimes work; we can make as many small changes as we like but unless we find the time to nurture them properly they will disappear like so many broken promises scattered to the winds.

Nature takes her time, it’s taken her millions of years to reach the point She is at now, yet still She changes, adapting, regenerating and producing new improved versions of herself.  We only have a very short time in comparison, which is why we must not waste time and energy on the things we don’t or no longer want in our lives.  The time for transformation is now and it is important that we learn to treat every moment as a precious gift to be used wisely and fruitfully.  Filling our lives with the things we want and discarding the rest is transformation.  Being who we want to be instead of what others try and make us be is transformation.

Whatever season of your life you are in, whether it be Spring, Summer, Autumn or Winter; what you are experiencing has happened before in another time and place, and will happen again and again, it’s the cyclic change that’s nature’s way.  Knowing that, you can prepare to transform your future NOW!   You know whats to come, you’ve been through it, you know what you like and don’t like and you know what you want and don’t want.  So this is your opportunity to change the speed on that treadmill, get off it if you need to and begin the transformation you long for.  Time = Transformation ~ don’t waste it, grow with it and expand into the multi-seasonal being you truly are.

Steve Tallamy

http://stevetallamy.com/ Magical articles about Mother Nature and her Kingdoms

I had the pleasure of speaking with Elizabeth Hamilton-Guarino on Best Ever You Blog Talk Radio  March 27th 2012. We talked about fear, courage and losing the one’s we love. My mother called in along with several other callers with questions. This is the first radio interview where I have talked about the details of my son’s death. Elizabeth, you are a wonderful radio host and I thank you for creating this comfortable environment to discuss such a delicate topic.

Links to Elizabeth’s Sites

http://www.besteveryou.com/

http://bestyounetwork.com/

http://www.motivationmarathon.com/

http://www.pinkydoodlebug.com/

Kelli Anderson gives one of my all time favorite talks at TEDxPhoenix as she shares her disruptive and clever designs. Kelli says “Reject normal order and by messing things up and rearranging the pieces we can expand our notion of what we demand from reality.” She presents three brilliant displays of this disruption and how it changes and improves things we love. From wedding invitations to Utopian newspapers, Kelli Anderson re-designs commonplace objects to go beyond their ordinary functions and create surprising experiences.

If we had the courage to think creatively outside the box to this extent, there is no end to what we could accomplish.  Here is a link to some great “Quotes for Thinking Outside the Box.”

“No problem can be solved by the same consciousness that created it. We need to see the world anew.” Albert Einstein

Debra Oakland

The definition of happiness is different for each of us. Elizabeth Barrett Browning said “God have us two hands, one to receive joy and happiness, the other to give it away.” I have found it feels wonderful to give, and it also feels great to be open to receiving.

Not knowing how to give or receive happiness from not feeling worthy is a place that definitely needs shifting. There are times in all of our lives that we go through the dark night of the soul. There is not one person in this world that has not had challenges to overcome. It’s how we handle those challenges that determine the level of our happiness, as well as our ability to shine our inner light out to the world.

It’s not always the big things that make us happy, but the little one’s we celebrate every day. Then when the big pleasures come along, we are better prepared to receive them.  There is an abundance of “Happiness Keys” all around us. One simple and glorious one is a beautiful sunset. I often see people stopping their cars to watch the sunsets here in Laguna Beach, or they are out taking photos as a reminder of such beauty and perfection. Nature has endless ways to bring us joy – all for free!  Think about hugging your child. Sharing a meal with people you love. Sitting in front of a warm fire on a cold night. Perusing your favorite bookstore or a million other things you can think about doing to bring you to that happy place inside. Gratitude is another essential key our happiness.

The more time you spend being happy, the more unhappiness will be pushed out. There simply won’t be room for it anymore! Isn’t that amazing?  Rebecca Stuttelle said “We need to live life with a burning passion. No fire, no heat – no heat, no life.

Like all great accomplishments living to be happy is a choice.  When you say YES to happiness, it says YES to YOU!  Let go of the what if’s and say “why not.” Why not you? If other people can be happy, you can too.  Remember Mark Twain said “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade-winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Think about what makes your happiness expand instead of worrying about what the world wants from you, or who it wants you to be.  Believe in yourself and all you can be. In this way you will be happier, more appreciative of all the good qualities in people and in life. Begin today and live your happiness with gusto, for it is a great way to travel down this road called life.

Debra Oakland

Photo by holmart.wordpress.com

Happiness begins with a relationship with your-self, allowing as many positive and happy events to fill as much of each and every day as is possible. Of course we all have to live with the trials and tribulations that the outside world throws at us, but we can handle and deal with these much easier and healthier when we allow happiness to be our daily mantra.

The happier the relationship we can have with our-selves the happier our relationships will be with those we come into contact with, which in turn will make their experiences of You happier too. Deciding what we bring to the self-relationship table determines whether we enjoy a beautiful banquet or a meal of curled up stale sandwiches ~ I know what I prefer!

You’ve probably guessed already what I bring to my buffet, a spread of the things I like the most, things from nature, things that fill all of my senses with pleasure. Spending as much of my spare time connecting with the happiness of nature brings a smile to my face and a lightness of heart and mind. Simple things, things that each and everyone of us can do. I’m not talking about the times when I take hours, even whole days connected to nature, but the little things that all add up to a happier day.

-Walking to the shops or to see/meet friends, I take the longer route through the park.
-Buying some fresh cut flowers to fill my home with scent and colour.
-Touching and smelling plants as I walk along ~ Debra will vouch that I dawdle when out for a walk!
-Feeding the birds and watching their antics.
-Ten minutes weeding, dead-heading, tidying up in the garden.
-Taking a few minutes to read or simply look at a nature or gardening book/magazine.
-Thanking nature for everything I see, touch, smell, hear, eat and drink ~ Yes I talk to nature, not always out aloud but always from my heart.
-Simply stopping if only for a few seconds and ‘really seeing’ the beauty in buildings, trees, plants, birds, animals, clouds and even people ~ especially children skipping and laughing about absolutely nothing, in a world of their own will make me smile and hum a happy little tune.

Filling our days with as many of these small but essential pieces of happiness (whatever they may be for You) builds and strengthens our self-relationship and the positive vibes generated can only attract more and more of them into our lives. From little acorns great oak trees grow, so plant a little happiness, watch and feel it grow and you will soon have a wonderful forest to walk through and enjoy whenever you want or feel the need.

Today February 24th 2012 would have been visionary Steve Jobs 57th birthday. Jobs Stanford commencement speech was excellent. Here are a few powerful words to live by, spoken by a man who lived in courage.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Stanford commencement speech, June 2005

Steve Jobs changed the way we view and hear things in the world. We can change the world in our own way when we show up and offer our best to the world.

Debra Oakland