Courageous Jai Pausch – Life After Randy
July 8th, 2009 | by Debra Oakland |I received a comment today one of my Living in Courage readers Mary, asking for an update on Randy Pausch’s wife Jai and the children. It has been almost a year (July 25th 2008) since his passing. During Randy’s illness with pancreatic cancer, I had frequent updates (archived in Courage and Archived Video’s) here at Living in Courage Online. For the entire journey go to Randy Pausch Updates which ended the day of his passing. We continue to send love to the Pausch family. Our hearts go out to them at this time. You will find a photo and article below from People Magazine online.
There is a very extensive article on Randy Pausch, his family, Carnegie Mellon University and the many Tributes to Randy’s life at this link: THE CARNEGIE MELLON COMPUTER SCIENCE DEPARTMENT, AS TOLD BY PETER LEE.
There is The Lost Chapter entitled The Bridge to Randy Pausch’s book “The Last Lecture” which was dropped from the book before publication.
Jai Pausch on the cover of People Magazine
May 25, 2009 Vol. 71 No. 20 Jai Pausch Life After Randy By KRISTEN MASCIA
Almost a Year After Randy Pausch’s Death, His Widow Opens Up About Her Loss—and How She’s Rebuilding Her Life with Their Three Children
At Disney World last February, Dylan Pausch, 7, smiled triumphantly as he wrapped his arms around a giant stuffed animal, his reward for scoring in an arcade game. His passion for winning cuddly creatures brought tears to his mom Jai’s eyes. “That was something,” she says, “Randy loved to do.” Randy, of course, is Randy Pausch, the contagiously optimistic professor who died of pancreatic cancer at 47 but who left the world a moving legacy in the “last lecture” he delivered at Carnegie Mellon University in September 2007—seen by nearly 10 million people on YouTube—and his bestselling book. Now, 10 months after his death, Jai, 43, is making her way, even as she copes with still-raw grief. “The knot in my chest has subsided,” she tells PEOPLE in a rare interview, speaking partly in response, she says, to the many letters she gets from strangers asking her how she’s doing. “The pain is there, but life is going on for us.”
Not without a struggle: Still fresh in her memory is the excruciating moment on July 25, 2008, when she broke the devastating news to the children—Dylan, then 6, Logan, 3, and Chloe, just a baby. “I said, ‘Daddy didn’t want to die; he loved you very much,’” Jai recalls. “It was awful.” Their reactions were heart-wrenching. “Dylan said, ‘Well, I’m the next to die in the family,’” Jai recalls. “I had to reassure him, ‘You’re not gonna die.’”
At first she made a daily habit of watching Randy’s lecture about his childhood dreams and what he’d learned about life. “I needed to see him, watch him move, hear his voice,” says Jai, who was earning her master’s in comparative literature when she met Randy, a guest lecturer, at the University of North Carolina in 1998. “But it was like tearing the scab off every time. I had to stop doing it.” These days she channels her energy into fixing up their Virginia home, where they moved shortly before Randy’s death to be closer to her family. “I’ve ripped out the vanity, wallpapered—I need something to squirt me in the face,” she says with a chuckle. “When I’m depressed, I’ve found plumbing really works for me.”
Her greatest joy is watching her children march forward, as children do. “They’ve been so resilient,” says Jai of Dylan, a budding scientist; Logan, now 4, a Batman enthusiast; and the proudly toilet-trained Chloe, 3. Recently, with Jai’s help, they planted a garden. “Jai’s doing what Randy knew she’d do: raise them right,” says Randy’s coauthor, Jeff Zaslow. “She’s one of the strongest women I know.”
And one of the busiest. Despite her hectic schedule, she has recently taken up tennis—”I have to be engaged, so I can’t think about making dinner or the anniversary of Randy’s death”—and has started making new friends. Some years from now, when the kids are ready, she’ll show them the lecture. “It’s Randy in a bottle,” she says. “They’ll get to see their father at his finest. That’s a wonderful gift.”
I think of what we could have had and wish it would have been —JAI PAUSCH
Tags: Carnegie Mellon University, Courage, Jai Pausch, Living in Courage, Living in Courage Online, pancreatic cancer, People Magazine, Peter Lee, Randy Pausch, The Carnegie Mellon Computer Science Department, The Last Lecture, The Lost Chapter - The Bridge
13 Responses to “Courageous Jai Pausch – Life After Randy”
By Sharon on Jul 20, 2009 | Reply
I just read ‘The Last Lecture’. Very moving. May the Lord comfort you in the days and years ahead and may fammily and friends continue to be supportive.
My aunt has been operated on for a cancerous tumor on her pancreas. My brother-in-law died in 1999 living behine 3 children…the youngest was 7 at the time and is now 17…the teen years are very difficult. Cancer affects every family in the USA.
What a brave husband you had and may you and your children continue to be courageous and to enjoy life. God bless you all!
By Yolanda on Jul 31, 2009 | Reply
Sra.Pausch,su marido me ha enseñado mucho en estos 5 ultimos dias el los que he tardado en leer su libro,realmente tal y como dice en él,me va ha cambiar la vida a raiz de haberlo leido.Sólo tengo palabras de agradecimiento y mis mejores deseos para Usted y sus tres hijos.Creo que en el fondo sabe que ha sido muy afortunada al haver conocido a un hombre como el que fué su esposo y además y lo mejor es que ha podido tener 3 hijos con él.un beso muy fuerte desde Barcelona (Spain)
By Shilpa Chitnis on Aug 9, 2009 | Reply
Jai, imagine having loved and lost such a wonderful man. But a lot of folks on this earth never meet anyone so wonderful. Its sad you had to lose him this way but what a legacy he left all of us. My life perspective has evolved so much since I read his book. I never knew him and my heart aches knowing that I won’t ever get to meet such a fine man.
Good luck to you and your children. You have all our good will and good wishes to keep going. And best of all, you will always have Randy. I bet you, he is sitting up there and smiling and enveloping all of you with his love, just believe in that and keep on going. You will be reunited with him one day in the future, but first you got a huge responsibility, make Randy proud, I know you will.
Shilpa
By Kathy Wade Sawyer on Sep 18, 2009 | Reply
Jai is such an inspiration to all of us who have loved and lost that precious loved one. May God bless your family and help you to find joy again one of these days. I know your children are a great source of happiness and you think once you’ve had the best what now…I hurt for you and the quiet times hit hard sometimes…Jai you are such a beacon of light for so many people…May God hold your family in the palm of his hands and we all know you have many nets Randy built and oh what a dynamic duo you are…were and will continue to be….Kathy
By Lori on Jan 17, 2010 | Reply
To think that life is short is for most of us an astute, oft-stated observation. But, to have life shortened by cancer is a reality for so many. It is so encouraging to hear that Mrs. Pausch and their children are living well even while grieving. Bravery isn’t the absence of fear but the facing of life with such courage. I am grateful to have heard their story and to be reminded that even if life isn’t the way we hoped, we can take comfort in the eternal dimensions of love shared and in the hope of seeing our loved ones again in heaven when our short time here is past.
By Debra Oakland on Jan 19, 2010 | Reply
I would like to say thank you to each of you for your comments. The Pausch family showed courage and grace during Randy’s illness and passing. They presented a family of love and respect to each other, their children and the world, during the worst time in their lives. I see them as wonderful role models and know their journey affected people around the world.
Thank you for visiting Living in Courage,
Debra Oakland
By enerlalem knight on Sep 10, 2010 | Reply
i just saw the video and lecture yesterday, and i must admit that it was really heartbreaking but i adore randy pausch for making and teaching us about life. and his book made me cry and made me realize things in my life and about life. may he rest in peace and God speed to his widow jai pausch and kids..
By Cathy Galyen on Jan 13, 2011 | Reply
I just wanted to express my sincere gratitude for the words Randy Pausch gave to us. I teach high school in Houston and often see students struggling with all kinds of situations. I can now share Randy’s words with them to help them through things. You see, I teach math. Words aren’t my forte, although I’m improving. Please know how far reaching Randy’s Last Lecture is and will continue to be….
By lydia on Jul 20, 2011 | Reply
hi jai, even today I remember watching randy in his lecture,I bought “the last lecture” on 6-19-08 and have read it several times,I think about you and family often and think how you are doing? you , your children and husband will always be in my heart and just wanted to say I always keep you in my prayer, you take care now and god bless you jai. Lydia
By Jane on Jul 22, 2011 | Reply
Just finished reading “The Last Lecture” and my heart is touched by the legacy of this great man. My father is also dying of cancer and so this book was difficult to get through. Like Randy my father has lived his life to the fullest and made a great impact on the lives of others. I am also a college professor and could relate to many of Randy’s stories… so grateful to make a difference and pay it forward. My thoughts and prayers are with Jai and the children. I pray for happiness and good health of the children and that Jai continues to have the joy in her life that she deserves.
By Lisa on Jul 25, 2011 | Reply
Jai,
I followed Randy’s and your family from the moment after a heard his lecture. Today is my birthday and my heart is heavy. I hope that you and your children know that he is looking down at you. He made an impact on a lot of peoples life. Mind included. His birthday will never be forgotten by a stanger in California I promise you that and my prayers are with you, your children, and Randy’s whole family.
By anmol gulecha on Sep 5, 2011 | Reply
i am student in an indian college.I got the book as a gift and i read it.It has changed my life.I play tennis.With the pressure in the game the book and the video were of alot of help to me to face the pressure and enjoy it.Randy’s book and lecture keep me going at time.When i feel disappointed i just remember his quotes.
By Praveen S on Sep 6, 2011 | Reply
Hi,
I am from India & recently read the “Last lecture” book about Randy Pausch. It really shows the discipline he inculcunated in his life & the struggle he did to survive each & every day after he wa diagnosed with cancer. It is also a very good lesson to learn about the importance of time & that too especially when you know you are not going to be around in some time. “Last lecture” is really touching.
It is really heart breaking to see Jai,Dylan, Logan & Chloe without Randy…We understand that life has to go on but we can never forget Randy…
Wishing Pausch Family all the Strength, Courage & Wisdom to continue theirjourney of life in sweet memories of Randy.
Regards
Praveen